Richard Koob, founder director, and 100 staff and board - mostly volunteers - work and play well to assure that the Kalani Oceanside Retreat, aka Kalani Honua, lives up to its namesake … harmony of heaven and earth.

"It's about being inclusive and that’s the model of Kalani," says Koob, one of the founders of the unique enclave nestled on 120 acres on the southeast shore of The Big Island. "It's a model of how diverse people can live together in harmony. That is what 'kalani honua' means – harmony of heaven and earth – and that has always been our goal to build a harmonious community."

Somewhat of an educational eco-resort, Kalani defies labels. Everyone is welcome to join in retreats and journeys that offer edu-vacations, yoga, meditation, music, lomilomi, integrative cranial sacral immersion and other arts and wellness programs. Cell phones only work in one place and there are no televisions. Most of the staff lives on property and guests can volunteer at reduced rates, increasing the feel of family and community.

But it is not a commune.

"I'm no guru," Koob is quick to point out. "I want people to find their own inner leadership and I think we've built that … we have built responsible people. We help people find their personal best. I feel in many ways, people are coming here because they are motivated, encouraged and inspired by the leadership they see and feel here. They see that a lot of that openness and inclusion comes from the Hawaiian culture and us managing with aloha.

"There's no push to be in a particular way, but to really find yourself," he continues. "To love and embrace one's self. To respect others. To take care of home, local and global."

The latter motto is one he borrowed from the wall of a kindergarten from a child raised in a two-mom and two-dad environment.

"For me, that's the philosophy," Koob said. "It's so librating because no one is being required to love or be intimate with any one else. What's important is the respect to allow everyone to discover his or her own self and path. There's no pressure to be a certain way. Find your own path. People own it so much more when they discover it on their own rather than trying to follow some imposed dogma."

This philosophy also embraces the land that Kalani sits on. It inspires us as stewards and visitors to honor Hawaiian roots. Kalani was once a Hawaiian village center with heiau (temple) to Lono and a halau, the Kama'ili school. Nine Native Hawaiians helped build the retreat center, with support from the skills training program Alu Like.

"What was here before was very sustainable," Koob explains. "They used to grow and live off the land. In a lot of ways, that we're learning from that and recreating that. We buy from local organic farmers and use what we grow here on property. We have an aqua culture system and we generate our own solar power. We are probably the most green business on the island."

This quest to create a harmonious utopia has been a life quest for Koob that has enabled him to witness almost 50 years of evolution for the LGBT community and the world as a whole.

In 1969, Koob went to Cuba to support the revolutionaries. The experience "changed my life," Koob admits. "The message (I got) in Cuba was that people stood up for what they felt was essential and owned their own country, owned their own lives. Under the dictator Batista, the country very stratified between rich and poor. Many were illiterate. They didn't have health care. Although the people in the revolution didn’t change everything, they did own that they had a right to all those things. They owned the concept that anybody could become a doctor or a teacher.So many people that had the ability, knowledge and talent gave the best that they could be for the benefit of their fellow people, their country, themselves."

Koob returned to New York City right after the Stonewall riots in Greenwich Village and joined the Gay Liberation Front.

"When we returned and saw what had happened, we had a special kind of drive because we saw what happened in Cuba and saw that liberation is possible," Koob said. "That is why we called ourselves the Gay Liberation Front (GLF), because we really felt it was about freeing ourselves and lifting ourselves up to be all that we can be and all that is above hatred and injustice."

It was with GLF that Koob met his life partner, Earnest Morgan. Koob was passing out flyers on Christopher Street promoting the first post-Stonewall march when "I saw the most beautiful African American dancer."

Morgan, who was from Hawai'i, spent the night with Koob and when they awoke, Richard welcomed Earnest to come help with the march, the beginning of 22 years of "loving friendship"inclusive intimacy.

"It was an important time and I've seen a lot of steps," Koob said. "I couldn't be in the military. I acknowledged that I had homosexual tendencies during the physical, so got a 4F … a draft labeling that meant 'gay.' Potential employers would ask why I wasn't in Vietnam and had to tell them I had a 4F. People wouldn't hire me. That’s why I went into the non-profit sector. Made me appreciate the non-profit sector more because it's not about making money or profit. I found a niche there, fortunately, in the non-profit sector, providing social services rather than furthering crass materialism."

The two moved to Paris in 1972 to pursue dancing. While in performing in the summer Avignon Festival in Province, they discovered a monastery that was for sale and the wheels started turning.

"Here was a great institution ripe for reinvention – in a positive gay way as well as an artistic way," Koob recalls. "It was an institution that in many ways – considering the history of monasteries and convents – were historically a place of refuge for gay and lesbian people. We thought that this would be a way we could live in the countryside and have people to come to us rather than have to live in the city."

After some thought, Morgan suggested "let's go to Hawai'i rather than trying to deal with the French bureaucracy." Having loved the tropical life in Cuba, Koob agreed, Hawai'i would be "no ka 'oi" – the best!

They returned to Hawai'i in 1973, diving deep into Hawaii's arts and culture scene. They taught in schools and universities. Morgan directed the Honolulu Ballet and had a modern company, Dance 'O Hawai'i. Koob worked as arts coordinator for the State of Hawai'i and Morgan as coordinator for the performing arts. As these positions allowed them to travel and experience the entire state, they experienced and fell in love with the Kalapana coast.

"It was very Hawaiian," Koob said. "It felt uniquely Hawaiian to us. It had all the elements … deep blue ocean with white surf cresting on black sand; native residents practicing traditional culture; breezy, sunny weather; lush tropical forest and hot active lava."

For these two gay pioneers in paradise, life on the pristine coast had its rough surf, though. Koob reports that the white stones that spell "aloha" at the property's entrance were rearranged to spell "fags." Rocks and bottles were thrown at guests on the beach.

Eventually, however, the Kalani retreat and its staff melded with the local residents.

"There's a lot of Pride in the people here," Koob boasts. "It's evolved. Among people that are from here, there's been a growth in awareness and acceptance. When we first came – black and white together and gay – and not playing any specific role, there were some issues. A lot of gay people have now moved into the community. We provide activities. New LGBT residents and locals can come and make use of the facility. Lots of gay and lesbians are living here now. Every subdivision now has its rainbow flags … probably more so than the national average. Communities have come to know us and they all now know someone who is gay or lesbian. Equality Hawai'i has done so much to promote that, too.

"Looking at Hawai'i itself - the first state to go for gay marriage - and to deal with all the conservative backlash from the Mormons and Catholics was tough. To defeat marriage equality in 1998, they used scare tactics. Everyone got this horrible piece in the mail. All these fears people have we can dissipate with love. We show people that there's so much love out there and that love has no barriers of gender or orientation. That’s where the healing begins."

Over the years, Koob admits that he has seen a lot of fear promoted from places "like the Vatican where there are so many guys in the closet. So many closeted gay and lesbian people have found a place in society, but, unfortunately, that place is still often at the price of the closet and feeling that they had to hide themselves to have it. It's so refreshing to see people out. It’s so strange that something like love – love of another person – could ever have been seen as a negative." •