This photo of the four of us gives you a small glimpse of the Kuali'i 'ohana on Kaua'i.

Our father’s ancestors came from Waipio Valley on the island of Hawai'i and the westside of Kaua'i and our mother’s ancestors came from Portugal. The four of us in the photo relate to each other in the following ways: a brother & sister, a brother-in-love & sister, a mother & son, life partners and two uncles & a nephew.

As a young man finding myself and my way in life, it was easier to be away from Kaua'i and family. I thought I would disappoint loved ones or maybe even bring shame to them.

So, I spent most of the 80s and 90s away from Hawai'i. While those were great times with college, traveling the world with Up With People, working for the City of West Hollywood and opening the Pride At Work, AFL-CIO headquarters in Washington, DC; I was always homesick for family and Kaua'i.

My life partner, Joe, and I have been together for 10 years. We met at City Hall in West Hollywood, Calif. In 1999, after only a year together, we moved to Washington, D.C., so I could become the first executive director of Pride At Work.

My love for family and Kaua'i is what brought me back home in 2001. I knew that with my parents getting older, I needed to be closer so I could support them however they might need.

Also, nearly forty, I was comfortable being me, being in a life partnership and believing my family and Joe would find mutual love and acceptance. Of course, they hit it off right away and he’s been an integral part of our family ever since!

I’ve been involved with several organizations over the years. I guess I got started in the early 90s when I was a union leader at City Hall. West Hollywood and surrounding Los Angeles provided numerous opportunities for me to immerse myself in the social progressive movement.

In turn, it also satisfied the calling I’ve had for community service since I was a junior high student at the Kamehameha Schools. So, I’ve now spent the past twenty plus years as a community organizer, advocate and activist. Most recently, I’ve helped found the PFLAG Kaua'i chapter and I’m helping build support for civil unions, as well as Gay/Straight Alliances in our high schools.

Our larger Kuali'i 'ohana includes my parents, five siblings, nine nieces & nephews and six grandnieces & grandnephews. We’re a very close family with lots of aloha for each other and great respect and appreciation for our ancestors and our culture.

'Ohana (family) for us is definitely rooted in “Aloha” (unconditional love) and “Malama kekahi'i kekahi” (caring for one another). We malama (care for) each other by being there not just physically but also spiritually and emotionally.

What a blessing it is to have family!

What a blessing it is to have the unconditional love that persists in our family.

Though sharing our lives intimately can be challenging, we continue to love and accept each other. That unconditional love is, more than anything, the one constant that binds us to each other and makes us a family.

For anyone who says we are not family, I can only say that they either don’t know what family is or they just don’t know our family.

We know we are a family.

We know that it’s our love for each other and our commitment to support one another through life’s ups and downs that makes us a family. •

-- Written by Kipukai Kuali'i