Respect, quality and dignity are more than just catch phrases for Kauai’s Renae Hamilton and Noelle Cambeilh. They are life’s guiding principles.

Their daily activities include: Search and Rescue. Helping survivors of sex abuse and domestic violence. Assisting youth with mental emotional and mental challenges. Empowering women. Starting Kauai’s first chapter of PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays).

A couple for six years, the duo met on Kealia Beach bike path.

“I was training for the marathon and she started jogging,” Renae remembers. “We never talked but I noticed her. Then at the Pride picnic, we saw each other. There she was.”

They’ve been together ever since in a relationship they describe as “typical,” with numerous common interests, one being community work.

Renae, 50, the executive director of Kauai’s YWCA, spends her day striving to empower women and end racism. Before that, she directed the YWCA sexual assault treatment program and worked for a Catholic school.

Noelle, 42, works with a school-based children’s mental health program supporting students, their families and teachers.

It was through Noelle's work in the schools that she recognized a need in the community for service for LGBT youth, parents and families.

While working at school, she remembers a student who preferred to play and dress like the opposite gender. “The student’s caregiver didn’t know how to support this youth and there were no resources on island. It was a wake-up call. I turned a corner” and vowed to find a way to help LGBT youth

They helped create PFLAG, of which Noelle is the president and Renae is the secretary of the chapter. The chapter is teaming up with the Kauai Youth Network (a joint YWCA & Boys & Girls Club program) to help end discrimination in schools.

“It’s been a really good year,” Noelle says of the young organization. “We had our kickoff event on National Coming Out Day. We focus on the three areas in PFLAG’s mission: support, education and advocacy. We have been active in advocating for civil unions and now we are also supporting Kaua'i Youth Network who is trying to start a GSA (Gay/Straight Alliance) at a high school. Several PFLAG members were recently certified to do safe schools trainings. I’ve also talked to my boss about training therapists (on LGBT issues). We have a few parents involved, and the word is slowly getting out.”

But it was at a sign-waving for last session’s civil union bill that Renae had an epiphany.

“Went I first went, it was a way to channel all my emotions and advocate more” Renae shares. “When we had our first sign-waving, it was the young adults and youth that came out. I realized then that it’s not just about me. After seeing these young people, I wondered how many more years are they going to have to deal with this? We’ve got to change things for them. I don’t want them going through all this. It’s now not as much a ‘me’ focus.”

This focus is shared by Noelle.

“(For a lot of kids) we are invisible,” Noelle continues. “Kids need to see who we are. We’re normal people. We’re all connected with each other and the other islands.

“We’re all going through the same thing,” Noelle continues. “The turning point for me was how I wanted to be perceived in the community. How can I be there for these kids … living through a place of strength and pride and trying to help them to do the same.?I want to be a positive role model for students.”

Renae has some not-so-pleasant memories, too.

Although after high school she split with the Catholic Church in which she was raised, Renae worked for a Catholic school during 1998s Constitutional amendment battle.

“It got so ugly and the Catholic Church was front and center through all of it, so I left,” Renae remembers. “ I had to be there to rebuild the school after (Hurricane) Iniki, but it was hard to sit and listen to."

The radical right’s statements claiming that they oppose equality “to protect the children” and the links that they make between pedophilia and homosexuality anger Renae, due to her experiences working with the sex assault treatment program.

“They distorted the real picture of most offenders,” Renae said. “Ninety percent of the time – the people that I saw every day were the daughters, granddaughters and nieces – the offenders were all heterosexual. Yet they try and pin it on the gay community?”

She continues: “These families are 'real' families and ours is not? Yet, here we are helping these girls recover from a traumatic experience. The statistics show that one in six girls will be molested or assaulted before they are 18. No one talks about that. They (the radical right) spread lies. What they portray dismisses and dishonors the struggle of the majority of courageous victims.”

Renae reports, though, that even though she’s not working directly with survivors anymore at the YWCA she continues to work for equality in other ways.

“It’s all about women’s empowerment and the LGBT community has a proud history with that,” Renae said. “That’s why I feel so at home. These are issues that we promote … respect, equality and dignity for all people.” •